we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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