if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Randomize
