He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
