When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
