I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
