I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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