I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
