Kareoke will never be a sober sport
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
