The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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