We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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