toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You're so nebulous sometimes
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
