I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
