it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
