i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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