If i come over, it means nothing
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he was CRYING into my vagina
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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