Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
