I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
