I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
