She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
