I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
