Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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