is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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