I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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