Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
