Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you win again, gameday.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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