after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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