Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Found your dick twin last night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
