I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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