I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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