I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
