singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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