suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
