Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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