Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
