cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
