So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
