can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
