stop calling my apartment porn island.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
try to milk me bitch
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