Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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