Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
