Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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