There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
