Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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