She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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