i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
