why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
