Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
