whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I faked an abortion last night.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
