She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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