Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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