I hope mine doesn't look like that
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
