I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
