The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
