Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
