What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
