I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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