we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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