You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize