Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
