This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize