where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
How external is "for external use only"?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
send nudes
from the living room?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
