dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
In other news, I just burned my penis
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You did what with his pubic hair?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize