I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
