ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
